last month of school for 3 children
email from my parents, “we are moving to Michigan on July 24th”
my brother having open heart surgery
my 14 year old headed to High School
my 14 year old having new friends
In the summer of 1993, I completed lifeguard training.
- swim 200-400 yards without rest
- tread water for 2 minutes
- grab 10 pound brick from 8-12′ of water and swim back with it
Fast forward to May 2017, twenty-four years later. I have been treading water, this time, for 30 days. I swim, then tread. I swim, then, tread. Then, tread/swim some more, all the while, holding on to a 10 pound brick for the duration.
It’s been physically tiring, mentally tiring, and spiritually tiring.
At times, going under. . . at times, heaving for breath. . . at times, crying so hard that I could not breathe. . . at times, my heart, beating so fast. . .
Swimming, treading water, holding on is a lot harder than running.
So f a i n t, I just wanted to collapse. So w i r e d that nothing in my mind could settle down. So c o n s u m e d, I did not want to eat. So e m p t y, I lost a bit of me. Truly, the only thing that I had to offer my friends and Jesus was my need, my demand, my urgency, my longing.
Promise me you will not spend so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above the waves that you forget,
how much you have always loved to swim. . .
-Tyler Knott Gregson