How’s Your Heart?

Sometimes, you cannot grieve until you know the depth of what you lost.

I cannot tell you the details but I can tell you that there was much joy, sometimes tears, much life lived between us. We celebrated the togetherness of us. Now, it’s different. I remember sometimes and just cry.

Leaving our church as an entity was not hard. Leaving the body of Christ at that address was very hard. Saying goodbye over and over and over. Saying goodbye with misunderstandings still lingering. Saying goodbye when people were looking at us to stay. Leaving the people who listened to my heart. Leaving the people who held my sorrows and struggles close. . .

A broken relationships. Boundaries. Incomplete understanding. Wishing, wanting things to be different. Grieving where things would have been now before they went wrong then. Grieving the loss of something you always wanted and know that you can never have.

Hmm. . . I should probably dive into these deeper, really. I should probably grieve these more thoughtfully. Weird as it may sound (and you might disagree), I just don’t have the time. So, the grief comes out in heartaches here and there. . . in sweet memories, in difficult memories. . . tears because things will not go back to where they were.

But, I’m not without hope because I believe that one day things WILL be better and perfect and complete.

In that same heart, I find joy and comfort.

  • 18 years of marriage to Byron.
  • 3 beautiful children
  • Special, precious women in my life who would sacrifice. . . to love me, help me, hold me, encourage me.
  • Living my running dreams
  • Training for 100 miles in OR in September
  • My health
  • laughter

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