A simple week. . . simply weak

My heart drummed wildly in my chest as I prayed, Jesus, I am completely desperate for You.

And I imagine the Lord thought, Good. She’s ready. Now, this is going to be powerful.

 My weakness wasn’t what could have messed me up. It was my strength.

The minute I start feeling absolutely confident in my own strength is the minute I am desperately weak … and I don’t even realize it.

We are only as weak as our strongest link. Sometimes it’s not our weaknesses that leave us vulnerable to attack. It’s our strengths. Those places where we feel especially confident, invincible, and quite able. -Lysa TerKeurst

This has been a ‘trying’ week for me. I have hosted Back Yard Bible Club, Tuesday-Thursday. Jack got strep. Ella got a double ear infection. (sigh) I remember thinking, I can do this. I am going to be fine. I can manage the tired-ness, the busy-ness. I can manage my emotions. I can manage myself and my family. Exhaling, I moved into Friday with the thought that, “I made it.” I took the girls to get their hair cut at ‘Divas and Dudes’. The stylist called me over and told me that she could not cut Grace’s hair because she had lice. Ugh, I am on day 3 of the lice diagnosis. I hope that she will come down this morning and be lice free. (fingers crossed)

These are ordinary challenges, even tribulations that I am guaranteed by God (John 16:33). It is only at this moment that I am writing this that I am realizing God has given me the necessary abilities to “handle” these things. Yet, the peace I can find, the heart I need to love my family well in these things is found in knowing Him.

I had the toughest run yesterday. Let me set the stage. . . The weather? Perfect for June 29th, cool breeze and mild. the time? 6:30 great time to run, because I got a bit more sleep than a 5:30 run, yet it was not yet too warm to be outside for 1 hour and 45 minutes. The company? Only the best, 4 of my running partners. The course? flat, shady. How did I prepare? Cold water, electrolyte drink, my favorite gu. What went wrong? I have no idea! It was just really tough. I designed a course for us all, 6 miles for three of us, 8 miles for two of us and 11 miles for me. At each transition, I simply wanted to cry. At about mile 9, my shuffle died, non-repairable. 😦 At about mile 9.5,  all I wanted was to collapse in the arms of Jesus. I’m not sure why, again. I just prayed, “Jesus, Mercy”. I finished 11 and was so glad I did. I wanted to quit more than twice. I could have easily quit more than twice. I am learning to know Him. I wish it did not have to take so much out of me. I just think that is what He knows I need to know Him closest, best.

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